Put a bird in it.

This is my new birdbath. You will please notice that it is wrought iron, simple, and features a thin wire with leaves and a bird perched on top. The base is slim. The bath itself is a pot saucer.

It was made by a local artist and purchased here. I often buy local because then more of my money stays in the local economy, which means that my money stays close to me. I do not like the idea of my money traveling far away from me. If it stays nearby, perhaps one day it will decide to return to me as a lottery win or improved roads in my neighborhood or as thousands of gold doubloons left by a stranger on my front doorstep. By buying locally, I ensure my own wealth and success.

Birds, I invite you to come and enjoy and bathe in the waters of 25th Ave S. Birds! Come, take a bath! Birds! Birds... Birds?

I don't know why the birds won't come to my birdbath. Perhaps it is too big or too small or too hot or too cold. Maybe they're a bunch of snobs and don't like this neighborhood. In which case, "I hate you birds." Maybe they're not dirty. Or they already took a bath. Maybe they don't like to bathe in plain view of all the neighbors, thank you very much. Maybe I should leave tiny bird-sized washclothes and soap and floral bath beads and light some candles and turn on some Enya. Maybe they birds have had a really hard day and all they want to do is have a long, relaxing soak.

Why do I want the birds to come bathe in my birdbath? The birds do not look particularly dirty. What I really want is for them to choose my yard. "Oh look!" they will say. "That is a beautiful yard free from cats and full of seeds and flowers that we can pollinate. And there's even a bird bath! And Enya!" And what they will really be saying is, "The lady who lives here is good and kind and thoughtful and takes care of animals (except for cats). But she's obviously not some crazy bird lady wanting to lure us into her yard in order to create some faux urban Garden of Eden and to bolster her own sense of self worth. No. Not this lady. She's the real deal. We love her."

Choose me, birds. Choose me.