An actual conversation with my actual two year old:
A: Ow! Mama, baby bite me!
A walks into the kitchen with her tiny finger in her tiny baby doll's mouth. A is holding Baby, wrapped in a blue blanket and in an appropriate, head/ neck safe position, in the crook of her arm.
A: Baby bite.
Me: You have to tell her "no biting, Baby." Tell her biting hurts.
A: Mama do it!
Me: You do it. You're the mama.
A: Mama the granny.
Me: I didn't get you into this mess. That was Dada Bunny.
[It was revealed today that A's toy bunny is Baby's dad.]
A: Mama do it.
A exit stage left.
Dear Lord, I hope this isn't a sign of things to come.